I awoke with a massive headache this morning. Pain killers were taken and I lay in bed for a little while until they stated to take the thumping away. Eventually I got up and had brekkie. We made a list of jobs to be done and got on with the day. Planning and updating Jason on the next couple of paddling days ahead we drove to my departure beach, looked out at the ocean and studied the wave sets. We studied how and where we will launch when the swells become less crazy.

We head back into Westport, we shop for supplies. This is rather a funny time as we find new and old items that we are tempted by. Today, Marmite Cheesy Scrolls (I am unable to eat) and then avocados at a crazy price of $5.99 each! I left the avocados on the supermarket shelf, luckily I have avocado's from my home tree, which just arrived from Auckland with Jase. Not ripe but I am happy to wait. A leg of lamb was the bargain of the day and my most favourite new exciting item purchased, Barkers Hot Toddy fruit drink concentrate for my thermos.

Today has been about prepping and planning, dodging rain showers, running in the rain in bare feet, sorting the cupboards of Cuzzie, fixing small leaks in Cuzzie. While on the West Coast I just did not have the inclination to get this stuff completed but at last my mind was again focusing.

Dinner has been cooked, the chocolate brownie is made, the weather studied intensely. The coastline and the checkpoints have been marked and we are getting ready, but I am not promising anything just yet. MN may play with me and my mind for another day.

My most fun times is always is at the campground kitchens at dinner time, we always find new and interesting people travelling, living from camper-vans and buses. They are the best and most interesting times of each day, there is always a a story, a kindred spirit and a new friend to be found. There is certainly many living their dreams, leaving the so called normal life for fun adventure and a real life. I am a convert and understand why they are so happy with this simple life, day by day is all they are concerned about and I reckon they may have it right.

Tomorrow I will be happy once on the water, happy once I am underway and over the initial waves. Happy when the first 20kms is under my belt and I am again moving north. Part of me is in disbelief and I have small amount of pre paddling nerves, it has been a long wait this time of being off the water and now I have to re focus. It is cold tonight in Westport, it is raining and we have just heard that it is official, it has been the wettest May on record for the West Coast! I can concur with that. The ground where ever you walk is sodden, there are puddles of water everywhere and it is in my mind I want to grab a pair of gumboots. (I blame you Leon, those gumboots from Lake Brunner, they were way cool).

So hot toddy in hand, butterflies in my belly and sort of hoping that tomorrow will come and go really quickly.

My smiles today:
Running in the rain barefoot and laughing.
My warm fresh chocolate brownie and sharing the recipe with others.
My new hot toddy mix.
My nerves in my belly.
My tears of sadness and missing Nat. (I have to smile as I do miss this young crazy bossy spirit)
My ability now to say when I am feeling stressed or anxious, to share my vulnerable moments.
The sound of rain on Cuzzie's roof tonight.
The smell of burning coal fires tonight.

My thoughts tonight:
The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets, the brightest eyes have cried the most tears, the kindest hearts have felt the most pain and your life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Good night
Red, Jase and Cuzzie.