Sleep was all I wanted to do last night. At the same time, the other thing I wanted was for this weather nightmare to be gone when I woke up this morning and for the updated forecast to give me a day’s break. But it was never going to be that easy. Firstly, for me to stay asleep (no way!). Secondly, for it to be that easy to dismiss this nightmare weather pattern (that was never going to happen). My mate Hobo and I sat and looked at each other. He was unhappy that I had decided to get up early. I was unhappy at the forecast! What to do? Drink hot coffee, call another person who doesn’t sleep much, and find a reason to laugh! Laugh, I actually did. Thanks Sheena, for your early morning laughter, it really did help! But all too soon disconnected by intermittent phone coverage.
On with my day. As it blew and rained outside, what would any normal person do on this crazy morning? Well, I did a few household chores. To warm up, first some vacuuming, then some floor-mopping, followed by stacking of firewood, by which stage the cat had been wise enough to leave for a quieter location! I managed to occupy both myself and my mind for a good few hours, before meeting up with a local to find out more about the Westhaven Inlet, and to chat about the weather and this impossible coastline. Jeez, what will I ever do with myself when this journey is over and I don’t have to look at this tormenting stuff morning, noon and night?
That said, we spent a fantastic few hours up on top of a huge hill with incredible views over the Westhaven Inlet. I have to say that this is one very special vista and I’m grateful to have made another great connection, as a result of which, if and when the weather does eventually settle, there are paddling plans in place. Having relayed my happy news, and then offloaded my more unhappy feelings during a later long phone call, as always I tried to find a silver or gold lining to what is being dealt to me at the moment. If anyone thinks my smile is with me 24/7, then let me disillusion you, it’s on a bit of a steep slope at the moment; my wheels are spinning round and round. I toss about some very great thoughts, my frustrations I share, then I talk about how lucky and blessed I am, and how bloody incredible it has been so far. My emotions are most affected when I see a paddling day ahead of me just vaporise into thin air as it turns into another utter “no go”. It’s so damn tough mentally. But I have to say again and again, that I’m so darn lucky to have such incredible support; to have people who, like me, are prepared to believe that this dream is worth chasing. It must be torture for them, too, as they wait and watch the weather each day and, also like me, they are developing more and more frown lines.
Anyway, there are still some positives to this weather meltdown. I’m fit and healthy and still not reduced to smashing my paddle in sheer, pure frustration. At least I’m not a fisherman, waiting to get out on the water to earn my living. I’m not stuck in a tent. I have seen, and am still seeing, some incredible bush. I’m achieving some amazing hikes and I’m seeing places that many others can only ever dream of seeing. I have listened to the snow! Each day, I make new friends. I’m being shown so many new ways of life and of living. Today I met yet another bee keeper. To me, that’s incredible; especially as you all know just how much I love honey and the world of bees! I have come across people who live totally off the grid. This is something I admire greatly; something I have always aspired to do. Who knows, perhaps one day in this lifetime.
At the end of a dark, very cold day, as nightfall arrives, I pause to look out at the horizon and tell myself to stop, just to settle down! As one of the many wonderful people I know would say to me "Settle, Petal!"
My smiles today:
There are twin lambs on the farm.
My incredible woollen leggings.
Bees, beekeepers and honey.
Those who have the patience to listen to me!
Laughter with true friends.
The many names I have called Mother Nature today. None of them nice!
This sheer rock wall that, for the moment, I am totally unable to pass.
The utter disappointment of the new weather reports. Do I laugh or cry? Well, a bit of both today to be honest.
My thoughts today:
"To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles." (T.F. Hodge)
Goodnight from Red. Ma Te Wa.
